i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
splinters make it hard to masturbate
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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