Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
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