Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize