i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
