Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
