my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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