i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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