It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
COCAINE IS GR8
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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