K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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