let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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