so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
