i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well