..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
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So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
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Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions