New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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