i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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