There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
i will never coherently bang her
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize