I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I have aggressive nipples.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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