You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
