apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I didn't notice because vodka
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
