well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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