why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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