I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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