This dress was meant to end up on your floor
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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