Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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