No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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