1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
