You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
