there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I'm just crazy horny about you
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
