corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
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I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
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He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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