Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
