Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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