Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
