HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
