Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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