i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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