I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
