Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
No subtext here. People are naked.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
