you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
