I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
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Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
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You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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