how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I need moral support for this bender
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Randomize
