Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
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