So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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