There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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