It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
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