if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
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