I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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