Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
my penis made a compromise with my morals
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
