Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
