Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Randomize
