help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
