Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
