4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
