I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Success! We fucked roommates!
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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