I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
