you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Randomize
