I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize