Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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