Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
