honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
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