at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
