I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize
