she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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