Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
