a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
