I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
