this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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