i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Randomize
